"It Takes a Parent to raise a child..."

John E. Rasmussen

Family Ministry • Sermon • Submitted 6 years ago

0 ratings

· 12 views

Notes

Transcript

Sermon Tone Analysis

Emotion

Language

Social

View more →

Introduction

Last week, Pastor Mike began our series on Family Ministry. Over the next few weeks, we will look at various ways that families can become disciple makers. We will look at what this looks like for us as a church, building this sort of ministry among families, but we will also be looking at what this entails for various types of people.

For many of us, the primary focus of this is will be what we do with our own children. Last week, Pastor Mike talked about how parents are the primary disciple makers of their children. This week, I want to break down particularly the “why” involved with this, but also briefly the “how”. This will be a bit different today, because we are used to Pastor Mike staying in a book, but we will be a little bit of everywhere today.

Why?

Why parents not pastors?

One question that obviously comes to mind, especially in our American conception of Church and Faith, is why is it the responsibility of parents, rather than pastors? Because it is certainly true that not every parent is a pastor in the sense of church leadership. But the most simple answer is this: Because you are commanded to.

The Command to Instruct Children

The Bible is filled with imperatives for parents to train their children in the faith and narrative that shows that this was God’s intention for passing the faith on to the next generation. Here are a couple places we see this commanded:

Old Testament

, and

Deuteronomy 6:4–7 ESV

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 6:7 ESV

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deut. 6:4-7

Deuteronomy 6:4–7 ESV

In Israel’s earliest history, they were commanded to teach the works of the Lord and the commands of the Lord to their children. This was not an optional task for the one who believed in Yahweh, it was absolutely critical. Not only was it critical, but this command to teach the commands of the Lord diligently to their children is found attached to what Jesus calls the greatest commandment, which is attached to one of the most important revelations of God in the Old Testament.

For the Israelite in Jesus’ time, was of the utmost important, because it was a distinction about Yahweh that they wanted to remember - The LORD our God, the LORD is one. And this one Lord, one God, was to be loved with everything - heart, soul, and might. So what is the natural outflow of that? How is it that we love God with all our heart, soul, and might? By obeying Him. By worshiping him. By inviting others to worship and obey Him. This covers verse 6 of this passage - And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

Obviously, the commands of the Lord should be on our hearts so that we can obey Him - but what is the outflow of that? If the Israelites wanted the faith to continue, they needed to teach the commands of the Lord to their children. This is actually ingenious - God understood how He designed our brains to work long before we ever figured it out.

Studies show that there is no better way to understand a subject, than to teach it to someone else. So naturally, what did God command the Israelites to do? TEACH His commands! They had to understand it to instruct their children, and so both benefitted from this process. We see this command one more time in the book of Deuteronomy, where in chapter 11, the Israelites are commanded to:

Deut. 11:18-

Deuteronomy 11:18–21 ESV

“You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens are above the earth.

Proverbs 29:17 ESV

Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.

So maybe this was just something Israel needed to do until the priesthood was well established, and the temple was erected and in use. Maybe then, God was okay with the priests and scribes doing all the instruction in the faith right? Let’s listen to what one Psalmist has to say about this, shortly before the temple goes into service (and which was sung in temple services regularly):

Psalm 78:1–8 ESV

Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.

Psalm 7

You see, this Psalm recounts the history of rebellion in Israel, but it begins by reminding parents to teach their children about what God has done in the past, so that they don’t follow the rebellion of their fathers. It begins like this because this would continue to be the primary means by which the faith continued and obedience would be learned.

Proverbs 29:17 ESV

Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.

Proverbs has many commands about disciplining your children, but the word that is most often used in Proverbs for discipline, carries more weight than simple discipline. While it certainly carries the idea of “punishment” for wrongdoing, it also encompasses intentional instruction that results in consistent practice by the individual instructed. Our English word “discipline” carries this sense as well, though it often gets lost behind the idea of punishment in the context of children. As Christians, we speak of the “spiritual disciplines”, such as prayer, bible reading, evangelism, etc. When we speak of these things, we aren’t speaking of punishment, but rather things that we do, that result in a consistent practice in accord with their source.

This is the same idea that the author of Proverbs is pointing his readers to: Discipline your children - instruct them in the ways of the Lord, so that they will be disciplined.

The book of Proverbs understands that a parent’s instruction is critical in training children in the way of the Lord, and helping them avoid foolishness.

New Testament

But we should ask if this principle is found in the New Testament. At this point, we should point out that it is not quite as frequent in the New Testament, but it is there. It is less frequent for the same reason that the command is less frequent in the Old Testament after Deuteronomy - because it would have already been a commonplace principle at the time of the New Testament. But here are a few places in the New Testament we see this command:

In the book of Ephesians, Paul gives instructions concerning families. In chapter 6, we find these words:

Ephesians 6:3–4 ESV

“that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4–5 ESV

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,

Ephesians 6:1–4 ESV

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:2–4 ESV

“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:

Paul opens by reiterating to children the command to obey their parents (which is also expressed less frequently in the New Testament). But then we find this curious statement: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Paul offers only two options: either you provoke your children to anger, using the supreme authority over them as was commonly expressed in Roman society, or you bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Now, the Greek language has two words for “but”. Now I’m talking about “but” with one “t”. One is stronger, and tends to be used when two things are in opposition to one another.

Paul uses this stronger form here. There are only two options for the Christian parent - you either bring up your child the way the world does - which was provoking them to anger in Roman society, or you bring them up as we are commanded, in the discipline and training of the Lord.

One commentator puts it this way:

Although every child is obligated to obey their parents, a parent is more reasonably able to expect this if the parent is involved in training the child in the ways of the Lord. The Christian parent is every bit as much obligated to instructing their child in the faith as the child is to obeying them.

One commentator puts it this way:

The Pillar New Testament Commentary: The Letter to the Ephesians b. Children and Parents, 6:1–4

Each group in the family, not just the subordinate ones, has obligations.24 While children are to obey both parents (v. 1), fathers have a special responsibility towards them and are specifically addressed here.25

The Great Commission and discipleship of Children ()

Next, let’s look at an indirect command to instruct our children. We are all familiar with the Great Commission of :

Matthew 28:18–20 ESV

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

We all recognize the fact that this is a not a “great suggestion”, but a commission - an essential part of the Christian faith is obedience to the Great Commission.

As Baptists, we are great about focusing on the “Go”, part of this verse. So many denominations and churches have less than ideal involvement in world missions. As Southern Baptists, we proudly have a strong presence across the world, spreading the Gospel.

But sometimes, I think we focus so much on the “Go”, that we forget that disciples can be made on home soil as well. Not only this, but in our own homes. We are all called to spread the Gospel through evangelism, and to make disciples - which includes teaching them everything that Christ commands. So often, when we hear the Great Commission, we think it’s for those “out there”, but not for those right here.

But our own children are, in all honesty, the most convenient, and most logical starting point for discipleship. They require the most dedication, the most time, but they are the lowest hanging fruit when it comes to discipleship. If you want to be obedient to Christ’s command here, I would encourage you to start with your children. Not only will you be obeying other commands of Scripture, you will be preparing yourself to obey the Great Commission more fully outside your home.

Why is bringing them to Church not enough?

At this point, you may ask, “Why is it not enough to bring them to Church on Sunday and Wednesday?” This is a good question, and it’s one that much of our culture has neglected to ask for quite a while now.

Notice, what I am saying though: it is certainly important to have your children in Church, involved with the community of faith. It is certainly important to have pastoral guidance both for yourself and your children as you bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. But those two things are not enough.

We are all familiar with the common adage: “It takes a village to raise a child...”. This is without a doubt true, and in the realm of faith, the Church provides the “village” necessary for raising that child up. But it also takes a parent. When the village takes over the responsibility of parenting the children, the parents won’t always know what to expect when the child comes out of the process.

But at this point I will ask a question:

Which is more important for your children? Instruction in the faith, or instruction in general education? Likely most of us will answer “Instruction in the faith” by rote memory and common expectation. But then at this point, it should be asked: “If instruction in the faith is more important than general education, why do we only devote two days a week to it?” In a system where the only place children receive routine instruction in the Lord is the local church, then we end up giving our children, in days, less than half of what we give them in general education at school, and in hours, we give them approximately one-half to one day’s worth of instruction per week.

If we really think that instruction in the faith is of more and eternal value to our children, shouldn’t we reflect that in our practice? You see, some of the passages we have looked at today, especially those in Deuteronomy, call us to be constantly instructing our children. This is supposed to be done when you sit at home, when you walk along the road (read, ride in your car), when you lie down, and when you get up.

Sometimes it’s easy for us to think that the occasional question from our children about the faith that occurs during the drive home after church is enough. But God expects us to be consumed with Him, and that that should overflow into every part of our daily lives, which should overflow into our interactions with our children.

How?

What is involved in this process?

This naturally leads to the question, for those of us who haven’t ever done this, and haven’t been taught a great deal about it: What am I supposed to do? I want to answer a few, sort of preliminary questions about what this process should look like.

How should

Voddie Baucham, the dean of African Christian University in Zambia, formerly a pastor in Texas, laments the problem that we tend to see in western churches. He notes that Christianity tends to be an oddity. I’m borrowing this illustration from him, and slightly modifying it.

If you were to take up a profession of brick-laying, and on your first day, a new co-worker told you “Hey, you see Henry over there? He’s been laying bricks for 45 years now.” Naturally, you would think that Henry would be the person to ask about how to lay bricks.

Suppose you are having trouble laying bricks on your first day, so you approach Henry. You ask him “I hear you’ve been at this for 45 years. Would you care to show me some secrets of the trade?”

Wouldn’t you be stunned, if upon approaching him, you saw that his bricks were laid very sloppily, and he replied to you “I don’t really know how to lay bricks”.

One of two things has happened here. Either Henry just really doesn’t care, or Henry has been trained very poorly.

Unfortunately this is the state of many Christians in western churches. Some Christians have been in Church for decades, but have either not been trained, or don’t care to possess the skills necessary to pass that faith on to someone else. How many of us, if someone asked us “Can you teach me how to pray?” “Can you teach me why you believe in the Trinity?” “Can you teach me why you believe in justification by faith alone?” How many of us would be prepared to take up that task?

Unfortunately, there are probably more of us in the boat that is unprepared for this sort of discipleship, than there are in the boat that is prepared. So if we are in this boat, like the vast majority of us start out in, what can we do?

Very quickly, I want to give a quick outline for what this looks like. There are many different elements that can be done when it comes to discipling your children and doing family worship, but there are three primary elements.

Read

The first element that is non-negotiable in this process, is simply to read with your family. Now, before anyone begins being anxious about this idea, I want to reiterate this: Read. This doesn’t mean sermonize. The word of God read, has a great deal of power. You may need to explain things to your Children, and you may need to research things so that you can explain to them. But you do not need to develop a sermon for this process. Reading short passages of Scripture, brief discussion with older children, and brief explanation for younger children goes a long way.

One more practical tip with this, is that especially with younger children, it is much more helpful to stick with biblical stories, but from a bible (not a storybook), when done with the whole family. Stories engage younger children much easier, so the younger your children are, the better it is to stick with narrative, or story.

Sing

The next thing that should be non-negotiable for a time of family worship, is singing. This is where some of you don’t like the idea. But singing is a fundamental element of the Christian faith. Paul tells the Ephesians to address one another in Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual songs, making melody to the Lord in their heart. This is part of Paul’s admonition to make the most of every opportunity in . I strongly recommend having a songbook for each member of the family. For those who have trouble with pitch, using a computer, or phone to listen to a song on youtube can be helpful. Singing with your family is very helpful in both instructing children, and in helping to strengthen the bond of faith in your family.

Prayer

Finally, Instructing your children in the faith certainly includes prayer. There are many ways you can do this. Some families keep a list on the wall or table of prayer needs. My family keeps a bowl on the center of our dining room table with prayer requests in it. Especially with family prayer, your children will get the chance to see your faith lived out a little more personally, and there is great benefit in the practice.

Optional Elements

Another element that can be included in your time of family worship is a catechism. this is a system of questions and answers that works through various Christian beliefs. Both question and answer are meant to be memorized, particularly by the Child, but parents can gain from this as well. This is a practice that has been used throughout Christian History to help pass on the faith.

Another helpful element that many include, is scripture memory. This can be done with very young children - and this is often the best age to begin, because children in the 2-4 year age range tend to learn very well by memorization.

Charles Spurgeon, a strong proponent of Family Worship and ministry, said

The Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit Sermons, Vol. XXXII The Happy Duty of Daily Praise (No. 1,902)

I agree with Matthew Henry when he says, “They that pray in the family do well; they that pray and read the Scriptures do better; but they that pray, and read, and sing do best of all.” There is a completeness in that kind of family worship which is much to be desired.

What About Children Whose Parents Aren’t Believers?

One final obvious question at this point, is “What about children whose parents aren’t believers?” What happens when they come to church? What about their discipleship at home? That’s a great question. Next week, Terry will much more fully address the question of those who do not have children. But one thing I would encourage, is that if you don’t have children at home to disciple, consider discipling some of our regular children whose parents aren’t believers. It will certainly look different than what we have discussed today, but it can be done!

Conclusion

It is certainly difficult to cover all the bases on a topic like this in one brief sermon, and I hope that as a church, this is just the beginning of this discussion here at Marionville First Baptist. I would urge you, even if it makes you uncomfortable, to begin a process of discipling your children at home. If you need to pray about this today, please come up, and Pastor Mike will pray with you. If you have any questions about where to start with this process, or need to know what resources are available for this, please come and see me.

Over the next few months, we will be making some resources available for family devotion if you are one who, like most of us, have no idea where to begin at the outset of this process. If that’s you, please come talk to me, and I would be happy to talk through some of the ways that this can be done, and what we have coming available here at Marionville First Baptist to aid in this.

Conclusion

As an invitation, we will sing “Show us Christ”. This is our prayer for you parents here today - that you would show your Children Christ through the word of God, through prayer, and through song in your home. Let us pray.

Related Media

Related Sermons

"It Takes a Parent to raise a child..."

Introduction

Why?

Why parents not pastors?

The Command to Instruct Children

Old Testament

, and

New Testament

​

The Great Commission and discipleship of Children ()

Why is bringing them to Church not enough?

How?

What is involved in this process?

Read

Sing

Prayer

Optional Elements

What About Children Whose Parents Aren’t Believers?

What About Children Whose Parents Aren’t Believers?

Conclusion

Conclusion